Category: Quick Guide / Caregiving

⚡ Becoming a Caregiver: Where to Start

If you have suddenly become responsible for helping someone, you may not know where to begin. You do not need to solve everything today.

Start with the person’s immediate safety and basic needs. Then gather essential information, identify who can help, and choose the next few steps.

Start Here

Ask these questions first:

• Is the person safe right now?
• Do they need immediate medical attention?
• Do they have food, water, electricity, and a safe place to stay?
• Have they taken their medications correctly?
• Can they safely move around and use the bathroom?
• Can they be left alone?
• Is someone available to stay with them if needed?

Handle urgent health and safety concerns before worrying about paperwork, schedules, or long-term decisions.

Call 911 If the Person:

• Is having difficulty breathing
• Has severe chest pain
• Is unconscious or cannot be awakened
• Shows sudden signs of a stroke
• Has fallen and may be seriously injured
• Is bleeding heavily
• Is severely confused or acting very differently from usual
• May hurt themselves or someone else

If you are unsure whether the situation is an emergency, call 911 and explain what is happening.

1. Ask What Help Is Needed

Whenever possible, include the person in decisions about their care.

You might say:

“I want to make sure you have the help you need. What feels most difficult right now?”

Ask what they can still do independently and where they would like assistance.

Common areas of need include:

• Preparing meals
• Taking medications
• Bathing and dressing
• Moving around safely
• Managing appointments
• Transportation
• Grocery shopping and errands
• Paying bills
• Cleaning and laundry
• Remembering important tasks
• Having someone nearby

Do not assume you need to take over everything. Start with the smallest amount of help that keeps the person safe.

2. Gather Essential Information

Collect the information you would need during an emergency or medical appointment.

Start with:

• Full legal name
• Date of birth
• Home address
• Emergency contacts
• Doctors and medical providers
• Health insurance information
• Medical conditions
• Allergies
• Current medications
• Preferred pharmacy
• Upcoming appointments
• Communication, hearing, vision, or mobility needs

Keep this information together in a folder, binder, notebook, or secure digital file.

You can organize additional records later.

3. Create a Medication List

Write down every prescription medication, over-the-counter medicine, vitamin, and supplement the person takes.

For each one, record:

• Medication name
• Dosage
• When it is taken
• Why it is taken
• Prescribing doctor
• Pharmacy
• Special instructions

Do not stop, change, combine, or adjust medications without guidance from an appropriate healthcare professional.

Contact the person’s pharmacist or medical provider if medications appear to be missing, duplicated, mixed together, or taken incorrectly.

4. Identify Who Can Help

Caregiving should not automatically become one person’s responsibility.

Make a list of people and organizations that may be able to help:

• Family members
• Friends
• Neighbors
• Doctors and nurses
• Pharmacists
• Social workers
• Care managers
• Community organizations
• Transportation services
• Meal-delivery programs
• Home-care agencies
• Respite-care providers

Ask people to handle specific tasks.

Instead of saying:

“Can you help more?”

Try:

“Can you drive Mom to her appointment on Tuesday?”

“Can you bring dinner on Thursday?”

“Can you call the pharmacy about her refill?”

Specific requests are easier for people to understand and accept.

5. Choose One Place to Track Everything

Use one notebook, binder, calendar, shared document, or caregiving application to record:

• Appointments
• Medication changes
• Provider contact information
• Questions for doctors
• Symptoms or changes you notice
• Household responsibilities
• Who is handling each task
• Follow-up instructions
• Insurance information
• Important deadlines

Record new information as soon as possible. Caregiving becomes harder when important details are scattered across text messages, envelopes, and pieces of paper.

Helpful Resources: Browse Caregiving Organization & Planning for products, equipment, services, or supplies related to this section.

6. Choose the Next Three Actions

Do not try to create a complete long-term caregiving plan today.

Choose the three most important things to do next.

For example:

1. Schedule a medical appointment.
2. Create an accurate medication list.
3. Arrange transportation and grocery delivery.

Other possible actions include:

• Completing a home-safety check
• Creating an emergency contact list
• Organizing important documents
• Asking family members to divide responsibilities
• Planning meals
• Arranging temporary in-home help
• Setting up a shared calendar
• Contacting a caregiver-support organization

More tasks can be added as the situation becomes clearer.

7. Understand Your Authority

Being someone’s caregiver does not automatically give you access to their medical, financial, or legal information.

Find out whether the person has:

• A healthcare proxy or medical power of attorney
• A financial power of attorney
• A living will or advance directive
• Permission forms allowing providers to speak with you
• Authorized contacts on insurance and financial accounts

The person should understand and willingly agree to any permission they provide.

Contact an appropriate legal professional if legal authority, decision-making ability, or important documents are unclear.

8. Pay Attention to Your Limits

Additional help may be needed if you are:

• Missing work regularly
• Losing sleep
• Becoming physically or emotionally exhausted
• Feeling constantly anxious, angry, or overwhelmed
• Handling tasks that require training you do not have
• Unable to leave the person alone
• Worried that the current situation is unsafe

Needing help does not mean you have failed. It means the person’s needs may be greater than one caregiver can safely manage.

Quick Checklist

• Make sure the person is safe
• Address urgent medical needs
• Check food, water, medications, and supervision
• Ask the person what help they want
• Gather basic medical and emergency information
• Create a current medication list
• Identify other people who can help
• Choose one place to track information
• Write down the next three actions
• Arrange professional help if the situation is unsafe or unmanageable

Remember

You do not have to become an expert overnight.

Start with safety. Listen to the person you are helping. Organize the most important information and take one reasonable step at a time.

Want to learn more about caregiving? Alison is an online learning platform offering free courses across a wide range of practical and professional subjects. Alison’s free Introduction to Caregiving course provides additional beginner-friendly training on the caregiver’s role, communication, supporting people with disabilities, managing caregiver stress, time management, and organizing care. Explore Alison’s Introduction to Caregiving course →